Lots of our clients "come in" angry. Getting laid off after years of service is not fun. Most of our clients were looking forward to staying with the company until they wished to leave. Most of them feel they have a "right: to be angry. Well, they do have a right to be angry in the same way as they have a right to take a gun and blow off their right toe. And that probably has less real world consequences than your anger at your (now former) employer.
Anger manifests in many ways. The first and most stupid of all these ways is with a lawsuit. Except for the lawyers, nobody wins in a lawsuit. Whether you prevail or not, a lawsuit is a public record. Future prospective employers can "Google" you and the lawsuit will pop up, especially if they use one of the many background checking companies who knows how to do searches for such. An employer would be nuts to hire you. You've proven that, if things don't go your way, you're going to sue.
Most employers know that filing a suit against an employer is a very career limiting move. Therefore, threatening or having your attorney threaten usually is just plain not useful. They'll know you're probably bluffing.
And, keep in mind that employees very rarely prevail in suits against employers. Their attorneys are better than the ones you can likely afford, and few attorneys take these types of suits on contingency. So...expressing your anger through the legal system is a waste of your time.
"Badmouthing" your former employer is also a very career limiting move. It will get around that you are badmouthing the former employer, and new prospective employers will simply wonder if they are next on the list.
It is incredibly short-sighted in this time to say anything bad about anyone. You do not know how far or deep their influence goes, or how well known they are. For example, my roots in Denver go back 50 years. My family has been very well known in a variety of arenas. Badmouthing me, for example, would simply reflect poorly on the person badmouthing me. My reputation here is solid, and many people who know me would defend me....making the credibility of the person badmouthing me very shaky. And you never know, when you badmouth an employer, if the same reality is present. Don't ever say anything negative about anyone unless you have a professional responsibility to do so. Even then, tread carefully.
Do not file sexual harassment complaints, discrimination complaints, ADA complaints or other kinds of complaints against employers. Yes, sexual harassment occurs, discrimination is common, and the disabled get a raw deal. But these sorts of complaints are very easy to discover in the referencing process that goes on prior to an offer. Many employers will pass on an employee who has filed any kind of EEO complaint, no matter how valid.
The reason is simple. EEO complaints are often used to strike back at managers who discipline employees. This is especially true of sexual harassment complaints. Employers do not want to hire trouble or conflict into their organizations. Who can blame them?
If you are being sexually harassed or discriminated against, put your anger on hold and simply move on. First, no job is worth the hassle of the investigations, the shunning by other employees, and the wariness of your employers. Secondly, most of these complaints don't go anywhere. The nature of most sexual harassment is that it is done privately. It is often a matter of "he said, she said." While, in the past, the alleged victim was simply believed, and the alleged perpetrator punished, this is no longer feasible. Several alleged perpetrators filed suits against companies that disciplined them without evidence...and won. This is, all evidence to the contrary, still America, and people must have due process. If you are getting unwanted sexual attention....quit and move on. You'll be much happier than if you try to make trouble, no matter how valid that trouble may be.
(Yes, I know that feminist groups will beat me up for what I've just said about sexual harassment. Let me be clear: I have a zero tolerance policy for sexual harassment in the company I run. I am being pragmatic, not ideological. If you have to choose between the two, pragmatic is better.)
But the anger issue goes beyond carrying out anger in lawsuits, grievances and badmouthing. It is career suicide to hang on to that anger when you're interviewing for a job. The fury that you feel...the sense of injustice...will come through to employers.
This is a problem I often see in my middle aged and older workers. They are angry because they don't think that they should have to be looking for a job at their age. They are angry because they see younger people getting promoted when they may have reached the apex of their
careers. They're angry because they think they're being discriminated against in interviews due to their age.
But this is operating in the same entitlement I see in younger workers who feel that they should be making $100K right out of college. It is petty and downright stupid. This kind of entitlement has, unfortunately, swept across America in many ways. But the very people who descry the entitlement attitude of people regarding government are often the angriest because they feel "entitled" to not be looking for a job and so on.
And it is picked up instantly by employers. Having this anger or having desperation are the two most rapid ways to destroy your chances of employment. Employers who pick up anger in a potential employee know that they are hiring problems. And who wants to hire a problem? Enough of those come along without hiring them, too.
Get Rid Of Your Anger
You must get rid of your anger if you hope to wind up employed anytime soon. Your anger is irrational, anyway, as well as physically harmful to you. Here are a few tips for letting go of your anger.
1). What are you angry about anyway? You did not have a right to the job you held. It was a privilege given to you by the employer/ If you want to have control over your life 3/4 go into business for yourself. While this does not give you total control, it is better than working for the Man. One of my CEO friends, Preston Wilson, points out that, so long as you work for the Man, you are vulnerable and at that person's beck and call.
You chose the life of working in a corporation for someone else. Getting laid off or terminated is one of the possible consequences of that decision. If you don't like the potential consequences (and everything has potential consequences), chose another path.
But don't allow your angry emotions to rule you when one of the very real potential consequences of being an employee comes about. That job was not your right. You weren't entitled to it.
2). Accept this time as a gift. This is a great gift from the Universe, whether you realize it or not. It is your forced chance to re-evaluate your life and see if you need to travel some different roads. Rather than being angry about this, be grateful to God or the Universe or whatever that you have been given this chance.
I've known lots of people in life who haven't been given this kick in the ass, and they have retired frustrated and depressed. They have heads full of regrets and wishes that they are too old to do. Not you! You have been given this opportunity while you're still young enough to actually do those things you have been wishing to do.
I can hear the "money" objection. But "money" is always an excuse. There is always money to do those things you truly wish to do, and never money to do those things about which you are ambivalent.
You may have a few physical limitations. But most of what you truly wish to do in life you are going to be able to do.....if you get off of your dead ass and get started on them. And the gift your former employer just gave you is the kick in the seat of the pants to do just that.
3). Laugh at yourself (and others who are angry about being laid off). It is just plain silly to be angry at being terminated or laid off. At worst, you did things to lead to it. Don't do them again. At best, you were caught in an industry storm. You might as well be mad at a hurricane!
4). Find creative ways to make ends meet. Most of my readership has some cushion. For those of you who don't, find creative ways to make money.
A friend of a client/friend of mind was laid off. His wife had been making custom bracelets with custom messages on them for friends for years. He knew a bit about the internet, and put up a website for her.
Well, he got a new job, but soon had to quit. His wife's little business was bringing in so much money, and growing so fast that everyone in the family had to get involved. Getting laid off gave this family a family business, and a great deal more freedom, both financially and time-wise.
Get A Job Outta Your Head
Too many people think that they need a "j-o-b" to make money. I haven't had a job since I've been 23 (with a brief, miserable, 2 year exception). Obviously, I'm not starving.
Oh sure, it would be nice sometimes to have guaranteed vacation days and sick days, to have better benefits than small businesses can get in our backward country, and so on. But I would never want to work for anyone!
Now, what this means is that I'm constantly interviewing for a job. Bringing new clients in is very similar to a job interview...several times a month. If I don't succeed, I don't pay the bills, and I get cranky creditors. Yet, I would prefer to cut off vital parts of my anatomy to having a (spit) job. Why would I want to enslave my body and mind in that way?
Now, this philosophy isn't for everyone. But the philosophy that someone else needs to give them a job is simply foolish...and short-sighted. So long as you are counting on another person to take care of you financially, you are enslaved!
Rather than simply looking for a job, look at the dozens of ways that one can make money without a job. One might engage you enough that you will gain the courage to get out of the rat race and be your own man or woman.
Remember...even if you win in the rat race...you're still a rat.
Look at life a bit differently. Let go of your anger. Get creative. You'll be better for it at the end.
